When Christmas is Casual

This will be the first Christmas that I am spending with a family other than my own. Specifically, it's Ted's family, so I'm looking forward to seeing friendly faces and soaking up that warm, welcoming Southern hospitality. The other day I was off-handedly mentioning to Ted what I planned to wear for Christmas dinner. A long sleeve dress, flesh-colored tiny-holed fishnet hose, and blush patent pumps.  At all my family's big holiday get togethers, we make a point of dressing up. Ever since I was a child, it has always been this way. Dresses, skirts or fancy slacks for the ladies, and nice trousers and ties for the menfolk.  My family isn't stuffy, it's just how we roll on Christmas.  Allow me to hop into the Wayback Machine to show you a typical example of my sister and me in the early 1990s:

Gorgeous home perms aside, this is what normal Christmas outfits looked like.  Below is a group shot of just the ladies in our family, taken a few years earlier.  My grandma is in the center, and the lady just to her right (in the glasses and floral dress) is The Moms.

I'm a bit Macaulay Culkin in the face, but you can't ignore the drop-dead elegance of neon friendship bracelets.

So, like I was saying, I was just casually running the whole dress-hose-heels thing by Ted, not for his approval but more as an FYI news bulletin.  And he was like, Whaa-whaa-whaat? And then he explained that in his family they do. Not. Get. Fancy. For Christmas Eve dinner.  Like at all.  Everyone shows up in denim and sneakers, and he kindly suggested that I throw on some jeans too, and maybe, you know, some sort of top, and all will be well and good.

I just kind of stared at him, trying to process this information, but all that was going through my head was 'Does not compute.'  This goes against everything that I have ever known in my thirty years of life.  I also felt a bit defensive. It's not like I'm going to waltz in wearing a gold lamé evening gown and look horribly out of place.  Why can't I wear something that makes me feel both comfortable and beautiful?  What's more, I think dressing up for a special occassion is a sign of respect to your host.  They took the time to prepare their home and hearth for you, so why not show your appreciation by having good manners and taking some time to look like you care about them, too.  I liken it to bringing a hostess gift, saying please and thank you, or offering to help with the dishes when the meal is over.

Being fancy, especially at Christmas, is just part of my DNA.  I explained this all to Ted, but he emphatically urged me to please bring at least one pair of jeans to have as an option, which I was totally planning on doing anyway. 

When you embark on a romantic adventure with a new love, sooner or later, in most circumstances, you at some point engage in their family's rituals.  A grandparent's birthday, a cousin's wedding, a big family-style holiday meal.  Ted and I have been together for well over two years and we are still navigating our way through each other's families.  It's exciting, but I can easily get really anxious about making good impressions.  Maybe erring on the side of fancy is my comfort food, my go-to safe place.  But I also understand the importance of being flexible, and respecting the traditions of your sweetheart's family.  I haven't packed my suitcase yet, but alongside the jeans I'm fairly sure I'll throw the dress in there too.  I probably won't end up wearing it, and it will most likely serve as more of a security blanket than anything else.